I wrote this blog today because, one, I want to be transparent with my readers and Instagram followers, and two, society sure has a way of tearing people down, hopefully this post may help someone who has felt, or feels the same.

A traveller’s life is frequently very different from a person’s reality. The way I come across is important to me, not for the approval of others but to stay true to myself.

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I started travelling after a series of challenging events in my late 30’s which had caused me to re-evaluate my life at 38 years old, only to find that everything I had been working towards wasn’t really what I had wanted, but fitted rather nicely with the expectations of society. Sure, I had the means to live in a lovely two-bedroom highrise apartment, which I referred to as my penthouse (it wasn’t 🤣); a nice car; a bachelor’s degree; and a diploma in the healthcare sector, along with a nice title job as “A Clinical Support Worker.” It all sounds really nice, doesn’t it? But what did it matter? Because in spite of accomplishing all of this, it would be diminished within seconds when people learned I was almost 40, childless, not married, and single. as if these were the only things that defined or valued me as a woman or even a human being.

I shouldn’t have cared what other people thought of me, but I was so insecure, unhappy, and completely dissatisfied with my life that I did.

This put me on a path of self-sabotage and I knew I had to take a deep look into my life and re-evaluate it.

Self-evaluation of my career

My self-evaluation of my life came at 38 years old, after being diagnosed with depression. At first, I thought my diagnosis was triggered by my late dad’s transition a few years earlier, though I do think this was just the last straw, but after my self-evaluation, I realised I had been unhappy for several years before this occurred.

The truth is, I hadn’t been living as my true self for several years because I valued what others thought of me far more than what I thought of myself. As a result of this, I made decisions and choices based on what was more acceptable in society, which ultimately resulted in me betraying myself for years.

I hadn’t really wanted to be a healthcare professional but a dancer who travelled the world, but it was a back-up plan more acceptable in society and it didn’t get frowned upon like my dancing desire, so at just 19 years old, I made the decision to choose healthcare as a career.

I started out as a pharmacy counter assistant and later became a qualified pharmacy dispenser, and then, at 22, I decided to study for a health and social care diploma and later gained a bachelor’s degree. From here, I worked in hospitals and did a number of healthcare roles, but was never satisfied for more than a few years in any of them. I suddenly found there was nowhere else to move because I didn’t have the desire to work in the healthcare sector anymore and found myself stuck.

While I was feeling lost and stuck in the face of my true reality, I began to subtract back to a time when I was truly happy and had a full zest for life. I was taken back to around 20, just about the same age I had dropped my desire to dance and travel. It was here that I realised the reason I had been unhappy was because I never followed my dreams.

I wasn’t bothered about the dancing anymore, but the passion to travel never left.

I realised I had to pursue this long awaited dream.

Self-evaluation on having children

I often pretended I didn’t want children. It was better to be judged as selfish or be seen as strange than to have people pressuring me about my biological clock when I would say I wasn’t sure if I wanted children. This would trigger anxiety within me because I felt I was running out of time, and I sure didn’t want it up for open discussion for everyone to have an opinion on, especially since I didn’t ask for their opinion.

The truth here was I didn’t even know if I wanted kids, but during my self-evaluation I realised I didn’t ever think to ask myself why I even wanted children. To be honest, I couldn’t even answer my own question. The only thing that came to mind was that it is simply what society expects of me, and the idea did not originate in me but was embedded as an expectation by adults from being a small child.

I realised I wasn’t really bothered; I could take them or leave them and know I’d be fine either way.

Self-evaluation on being single and Unmarried

Once I realised I wasn’t too concerned with having children, I didn’t need to do much self-evaluation about marriage or being single and rushing to meet someone. Though I did ask myself why I wanted to be married or be with someone, this was easy. I wanted a best friend with whom I could share my life experiences.

However, since I wasn’t too concerned about children, I realised there wasn’t a rush to meet someone. More than this, the years of betraying myself caused me to actually want to figure out who I really am so I can know what I really want, and for this part, it requires me to be single for a little while.

The true version of me

Today I am 41 years old, and for the first time in my adult life, I have started to live in the world as no one other than myself. I have failed trying to be someone other than myself, and I have found I do a pretty damn good job at being me.

Since my self-evaluation, I’ve given up my apartment and car to free up money to do more of the things I like. I’ve given up my health care job because there wasn’t much point in continuing something I wasn’t enjoying. Now I work part-time in hospitality as well as travelling abroad during my holidays and travelling around the UK during my days off.

I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I’m just winging it and making it all up as I go along, but I’d rather be happy, authentic, and live my truth than be fake and pretend I have it all figured out.

If I’m going to last in this world, it has to be by living as my true authentic self because it is painful, exhausting, and completely unfulfilling otherwise. 

One last thing….

My travel journey isn’t just about how many countries or places I visit; it’s about finding out who I really am, what I want, and for inspiration for my next career move. This is largely why I chose to travel solo.

Besides this, I am practising on a daily basis to choose a deliberate life filled with deliberate and satisfying choices that feel good and satisfying to me, instead of considering the options and beliefs of others like I did when I was younger.

I hope you have enjoyed my blog today.

Thank you for reading 🙏🏾

Stay blessed Natalie ❤

My trip to the Hilbre Islands was amazing! I would highly recommend this as a great day out for all the family. Did you read the first and second blogs on this incredible little hidden gem?

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If you are considering a visit here, there are just a few important things you need to know in order to have a safe visit to the Islands, as well as some useful information.

Getting there

By public transport: Get the train to Liverpool Lime Street train station. From here you will catch the Merseyrail to West Kirby from platform A. Platform A is located underground of the station. The journey should take approximately 40 minutes. It is then approximately a short 4 to 5 minute walk from the station to West Kirby beach.

By Car: It is approximately a 30- minute drive from Liverpool, depending on which route you choose to take

Parking: I used public transport but I noticed there was plenty of side street parking for free and a section by the marina for around 20 cars which are free although,, it goes without saying you would have to arrive early to snatch up these spots. Other than this, there is pay and display parking all along the promenade.

The route you MUST take for a safe journey across

1 Start at Dee lane slipway

2 Walk straight to Little Eye which is the smallest of the Islands. Make sure you keep to the right, but straight.

3 From here turn right and walk to Middle Eye Island keeping on the sand

4 On middle eye next to the arch, there are some rough carved out steps. When you get to the top there is a path that will lead you to Hilbre Island.

*Important notes*

please try to avoid stepping on the rocks, if you need to do be extremely careful because some are very slippy (Don’t let small children walk alone)

Also Make sure you take this route and do not cross straight over to Hilbre Island from Hoylake

Please make sure you check the tide times before walking out

This is extremely important as the tide comes in very quickly, many people have had to be rescued off the island. I saw people walking over with small children at the time they should have been heading back.🤦🏽‍♀️.

All the information states to walk over 3 hours after high tide and return 3 hours before the next high tide.

There is a noticeboard on the beach informing you of when the tides are high and low. I wasn’t confident about this because I wasn’t sure if I should walk out at those times or wait 3 hours after the times shown.

I found this website incredibly useful. I can’t swim and this gave me the confidence to see if the tide was rising or falling and a clear understanding of when it was safe to walk.

What to wear

Wear a good pair of walking boots or wellies. Your feet will get wet and you will get full of soggy sand no matter how carefully you try to walk. Take spare socks, shoes and pants.

Make sure you wear or bring something warm the weather can change quickly here.

Take a beach towel to dry off

Where to get changed

If your in a car it will be easier for you to change. For those that are not, there is a Morrisons store near the beach with toilets where you can change.

I wore two pairs of leggings and two pairs of high socks, so I was able to just whip everything off on the beach and continue to wear the leggings from underneath.

Food and drinks

There are no shops or anything on the Island, so you may want to take something with you although, there are plenty of shops, cafés and restaurants not far from the beach.

As mentioned in the last post there are toilets, so not to worry if you need the bathroom whilst there.

A worthy mention

if you can, stick by to watch the tide come in. It’s quite fascinating that the beach is next to the marine lake, with only a narrow path separating the two. It looks as though people are walking on water from a distance.

Other useful websites

Hilbre Islands local nature reserve

Visit the Wirral

Don’t want to walk alone? Book a walking tour here

I hope this is helpful for anyone planning to visit.

Thank you for your visit today

Stay blessed 🙏🏾

Natalie ❤